I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
