oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
