Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
