Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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