I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
