I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
