He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
