woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Please don't give away my fajitas
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
