It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
