Me too!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
