What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
