He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
