maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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