no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
