I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
