Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
