I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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