did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
