Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
