my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
