She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
