Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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