I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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