I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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