Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
