I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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