He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
