Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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