Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
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