Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
