lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
