there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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