went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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