I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
