If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
