I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
