So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
