I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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