Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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