i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
