Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
