For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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