He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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