my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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