She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
