The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
NoShamevember. You game?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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