Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
