I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
