goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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