he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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