Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
