I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
