just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
