laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
